A Beginning

I'll begin with an introduction.

I am a 32 year old woman. I have struggled with heavy, painful periods since puberty. In combination with my family history and my battles with IBS, it was assumed I had endometriosis. A large proportion of my female relatives have struggled with a variety of menstrual and fertility issues such as endometriosis, ovarian cysts, and fibroids. The majority of them had hysterectomies. A few, when they were younger than I am now. I can't say that I am surprised that I am facing fibroids now. It almost feels like a genetic destiny. 

In February 2011, I had my period for an entire month. At one point, so heavy I thought I was dying and went to the ER. The doctor on call had no sympathy for me. She told me I was getting old. It could be early menopause and sent me home. I was 29 years old. My family doctor was a bit more reasonable. She suggested an investigative laparoscopy and told me it wouldn't hurt to try for a baby now if I was thinking of having children. 

Much to my surprise, I got pregnant 4 months later. The laparoscopy was cancelled. We would wait and see how I was doing after I had the baby. 

My pregnancy was textbook. My uterus looked healthy. I felt the best I have ever had in my life. I didn't even have stretch marks. All was fine. Besides being in labour for 5 days because my daughter was sunnyside up with her hand above her head, all went well. I thought maybe I dodged the curse. 

This brings me to Halloween 2013. I was feeling off my game. I was tired and I just felt pregnant. I didn't think it was possible. Hubby and I were using protection. I took a test anyways. The thick dark test line showed up immediately. My first reaction, was a swear word. Where were we going to put another baby? How were we going to afford it? Hubby took it better than I did. Slowly, I got excited. 

I had to wait until Nov. 14th to see my doctor to confirm the pregnancy. In the mean time, I ballooned. There was no hiding the fact that I was pregnant from anyone. I began to get excited but something in me just would not let me bond to this baby like I did my daughter.

The day of my appointment, I went in thinking I was 7 weeks pregnant. My doctor examined me and said I had a 15 week uterus. We listened to a heart beat. The doctor thought she heard one. It didn't sound right to me. It didn't sound right to her either. She thought maybe it was two. She ordered an ultrasound for Nov. 29th and said, "My guess is that you are 11 weeks pregnant with twins." 

I was floored. Hubby was excited. We told people that night. 

The next day, a Friday, I felt off. I had cramping but I dismissed it as gas. It got worse. I called my mother in law, a nurse, around 7pm, asking if the local hospital had an ultrasound and would be able to look after me if I thought something was wrong. She said they would, but reminded me that cramping was normal. Specially, in second pregnancies. However, I started bleeding soon after I hung up the phone.

I told Hubby to take me to the hospital. I lost one twin as soon as we got there. I told them I thought it might be twins. They said I was measuring 16 weeks. The doctor did blood work. My levels were typical for 7 weeks pregnant. The doctor tried to see if there was another baby on the ultrasound. Instead of saying anything, he told me I had to go to the hospital in the city as he was not sure what he was seeing.

11pm, We made our way to the city. They ran more tests there but I had to wait for morning for an ultrasound. The ultrasound tech was kind but she had the saddest look on her face as she did the ultrasound. All I could see on the screen was a large dark mass. 

I said, "There is no baby is there, is there. That big round thing is a tumour, isn't it?" 

She said, "I can't tell.  There could be a baby but your right, there is a tumour in the way. I think it is a fibroid." 

The gynecologist confirmed the ultrasound tech's suspicions and pulled my other ultrasounds from my previous pregnancy. There was no evidence of fibroids on those ultrasounds. It was discovered that I had a spontaneous fast growing fibroid tumour. It was 10.3cms. I was now measuring 17 weeks pregnant. My uterus was growing a week in fundal height each day. There was no way I would be able to carry a baby to term. I had to go home, wait for the rest of the "tissue"( aka - twin 2) to pass and I was told they would schedule an MRI for early the next week. 

We hoped once my hormones leveled out the tumour would stop growing. Apparently, 98% of fibroids are benign. That means 2% are cancer. Apparently, the ones that are cancer grow really quickly.Mine was growing quickly. The reminded me that 98% are good odds. However, this whole experience, starting with conception, was against the odds. I couldn't wait for my MRI.

Unfortunately, I'd have to.